Snooping
by The Sacred and Profane
Summary: Tifa is planning a party for Reno but needs a distraction to keep him occupied. ReTi oneshot for ToWriteLoveOnHerArms08.


Snooping

AN: I own nothing in this story. This is for ToWriteLoveOnHerArms08 so enjoy! Please R&R.

Tifa heard the timer go off and got up from the couch where she had been reading to pass the time. Opening the oven, she removed the chocolaty concoction and set it down to cool. Checking the time, she noted that it was 1:00.

She still had three hours to get everything in order for Reno's surprise birthday party.

Her husband would be 28 today and she was certain everything would turn out splendidly. As she thought ahead to the party, the phone suddenly rang. Answering it, she recognized Reno's voice in an instant.

"Hey babe, boss let me off early today, something about vacation hours I haven't spent yet. So I'll be over in a-

"No, don't come home yet!" Tifa nearly yelled.

"Um...why not?"

"Well, you should go get a drink with Rude somewhere. It's been awhile since you've done that, right?" Tifa hoped he couldn't detect the panic in her voice.

"Alright...but you better not be plotting something little missy," he joked.

"Why would I do that?" Tifa replied.

"Because you're married to me. I'll be home later then and I might just have something for you."

"Sounds great, have a good time with Rude." She hung up then and quickly dialed another number.

"Elena, it's Tifa. Yes I know Reno got off early, yes I know-yes Elena, I know!" Tifa said as the blond kept on chattering away. "Sorry about that. Listen, could you do me a favor and go with Reno. Make sure he doesn't come home until four, alright?" Once Elena assured Tifa she would perform her mission admirably, the Avalanche member hung up.

Hopefully her distraction would buy her enough time.

* * *

Reno was just leaving work with Rude when he felt an arm around his neck.

"Hey you guys, where are you going?" Elena asked. Reno looked over at the blond, who had her other arm around Rude's side.

"Drinking...do you want to join us?" Elena's face brightened at that and she nodded.

"Yeah, that sounds fun. So what bar are we going to?"

"Utopia, it's supposed to be pretty good," Reno answered.

"Let's get going then," Elena said, nearly pushing them out the entrance to Shinra.

Utopia wasn't bad as far as bars went, at least in Reno's estimation. The bartender was a laid back young man and the atmosphere of the bar reflected this. Reno looked over at Rude who was nursing a shot of Wild Turkey. Elena had yet to decide on a drink.

"Need some help Laney?" Reno asked.

"I think so...it's been awhile since I've been at a bar." Reno looked at the menu, a smirk lighting up his face as he thought of a fun prank to pull.

"Try the Junon Sunset, it's pretty good." Elena took his recommendation and once she was finished, her cheeks were incredibly flushed.

"HIC, you know what...you guys? I don't think I can...hold my alcohol very well," Elena said, a big grin on her face.

Hours passed and Elena had had three more Junon Sunset's. Her world was a blur, everywhere she looked she saw little birds with Tseng's face pouring on the charm. The blond's head was currently resting on Reno's shoulder, a loud belch emanating from her mouth. She started giggling at it's volume.

"Oh, that was a good one. That's me, best Turk and best belcher in Midgar. And you know... you know what else?" Elena said, a serious expression on her face as she looked at Reno through inebriated eyes.

"What?"

"I hear it's amazing when the HIC famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with a tuning fork does a raw blink on Hari-kari rock! I need scissors! 61!" Elena yelled at the top of her voice.

"Elena, you're drunk," Rude remarked. Elena shook her head back and forth several times before answering.

"Nun uh! Yur drunk, baldy waldy. You guys know what I want to do with Tsengy poo? Well I'll tell ya. I wanna dip him in honey and kiss him all over." Reno was glad he was recording this with his cell phone camera and smirked.

"That sounds nice." Elena nodded over and over again before she looked at the clock.

"It's 3:50....wait a minute...wasn't there sometin I was 'pposed to do? Oh yeah! Reno, we have to go to your house right now!" And before Reno or Rude could reply, the female Turk grabbed them by the arms and nearly dragged the two men outside.

Of course she collapsed right after she did this but Rude caught her.

"I guess it's time to head home," Reno said.

* * *

The shades were down when Reno pulled into his driveway, Elena still passed out with Rude supporting her limp frame. Getting out of the car, Reno and Rude made their way to the front door, Elena still not conscious. Opening the door, Reno walked in.

"SURPRISE!!"

Reno's eyes widened as the lights came on, revealing his wife and more of his friends around the table. Even Rufus and Tseng were there along with Yuffie, Cloud, Vincent, Cid, and Barret. Marlene was on her father's shoulders and was smiling widely while Denzel was by Cloud, giving him a thumbs up.

The yelling caused Elena to bolt up from her slumber, a lethargic glance revealing to the still drunk Turk what was going on.

"Happy Birthday!" she cried, before passing out once more. Rude brushed past Reno and placed Elena in Tseng's arms.

"I believe this belongs to you," he said in his deep voice.

Tifa ran towards her husband and leaped into his arms, kissing him deeply on the lips. Breaking apart, she smiled.

"Happy birthday Re," she whispered.

"I can't believe you did all this for me. I even forgot it was today." Tifa laughed at that and laid her head against his chest.

"I remember everything," she replied. "Now let's eat some cake. Yuffie's been bugging me about it for the last half hour." Reno chuckled and nodded.

* * *

Once the party had ended and the clean up was done, Reno led Tifa to the bedroom where he properly thanked her for the surprise. After his second round of thanking, Reno glanced over to her. She was smiling lazily at him and stroked his cheek.

"So...I noticed that none of the presents I got were from you," Reno said softly.

"How rude of me," Tifa replied. And before Reno could speak, she dropped a slim package on Reno's chest.

"Don't tell me you got me that dragon fang necklace," Reno said, excitement in his voice. Tifa rolled her eyes at his prediction and motioned for him to hurry. Opening the present, Reno found a plastic stick. "What's this- but Reno stopped talking when he saw the pink plus sign.

"Happy birthday...daddy."

Tifa suddenly found herself bombarded by kisses, murmured praises, and a hand stroking her belly.

Not that she was complaining of course.

* * *

Elena opened her eyes, blinking rapidly. She was in her apartment, on her couch. Sitting up, she was about to head to her bedroom when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning quickly, she saw Tseng beside her, a small smile on his face.

"Tse-I mean Sir, what are you doing he- but the Wutain put a finger to her lips.

"I understand that you had a difficult mission distracting Reno. And since you succeeded in your task I believe a reward is in order." And before Elena could talk, his lips meshed with hers and she was flying. Heck, the blond was sure she was in heaven already. Only one thing could make this better.

Breaking apart, Elena smiled seductively at Tseng.

"Do you like honey?"


End file.
